Random Homestuck Quotes

All Spoken / Typed Dialog Narration John Rose Dave Jade Jane Roxy Dirk Jake Aradia Tavros Sollux Karkat Nepeta Kanaya Terezi Vriska Equius Gamzee Eridan Feferi Damara Rufioh Mituna Kankri Meulin Porrim Latula Aranea Horuss Kurloz Cronus Meenah Calliope Caliborn Auto-Responder Doc Scratch Andrew Hussie Mindfang The Condesce Davesprite Jadesprite Rosesprite Jaspersprite Nannasprite Jasprosesprite^2 ARquiusprite Tavrosprite Equiusprite Calsprite Aradiasprite Dragonsprite Tavrisprite Erisolsprite Fefetasprite Mothersprite Becsprite Dad Crocker Nanna Serenity Salamanders Serious Business users Squarewave

Damn these things are hard to read. But then, you've never really found any reason to decipher them.
Until now, perhaps?